It may have been months or even YEARS later and I was still wishing I was with them. I wanted a partnership in business that helped me flourish and realize my dreams. What I was pining over in my head wasn’t who they really were.
Have you ever been SO in love with someone or so happy in a partnership and then all of a sudden it just falls apart? After getting enough distance from a former lover or partner, I found myself STILL pining over them. I began to see that I was in love with or stuck on the IDEA of them.
Underlying this pining was hurt and below that hurt was fear – fear of being hurt again.
So there was the hurt from the break ups and then the fear of that hurt being repeated.
Yesterday I had a few beers with a German girl friend and as we talked about life in Thailand she came up with this straightforward question: Why do you prefer Thai girls to western girls?
And even though I’m sure she knew some of the reasons already there are many things she can’t know as she never had the pleasure of calling a Thai girl her girlfriend.
Women are naturally wired to pick up on the subtle cues that men give off to display confidence via their conversation style, vibe, body language, behavior and actions.
If you have honestly learned how to be more confident than you were before, it WILL come across when she interacts with you and it WILL make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you. Don’t hound her with calls, letters and text messages.
Thai girls let you make the decisions what you are going to do together, when you are going to do it (Let’s go eating now, I’m hungry) and how you are going to do it (Let’s only go for a few hours, I wanna meet up with my friend later).
She might not openly admit it, but she will feel it. The more pressure you put on her, the more she will want to distance herself from you.
You and her were individuals before you met each other, you were individuals while you were in a relationship (despite how close you both felt) and you are both individuals right now.
I was spending so much time thinking about this IDEA of who I thought these people were that I wasn’t present.
I wasn’t present for new love or a new partnership.